As Teachers' Day approaches, it is perhaps an apt time for me to pay tribute to mine as well and to talk about the journey that lead me to this profession after more than a year of teaching (since according to J, I have yet to update on this aspect of my life).
I made the decision to join this profession after my secondary school. Although I had also left my options open to more glam possibility like chemical engineer as a backup, the original choice has never waivered.
I must admit that I am very lucky to have good teachers in my academic life. I loves my primary school teachers who told such great stories, especially the older Chinese teachers! And there is the superman-lookalike Mr Chan who really challenged me to greater heights in P6 with seemingly impossible English vocabulary at that time (and he is also the one for whom I have to write extra big for due to his eye operation) and a Ms Heng who is ever so caring and introduced wonderful authors like roald dahl, magaret mahy etc to us. All of my p5 classmates still remembered her fondly and two years ago, we managed to track her down and invited her to our primary5 class outing. And the list goes on. I had a good time in primary school although I am not sure if that could be said for generations beyond mine. I was never troubled or stressed by PSLE because at that time, it was just a state-level examination lor. Ignorance could be a bliss. And I guess I have always been driven by an intellectual curiosity of things which is why I am never fazed by questions or become defensive but find them intriguing instead.
Then there was my secondary school which is very important to me and this entry would not exist if not for two teachers who have made a difference in my life.
Teacher 1
As a kid, I was rather quiet and would always try to wiggle my way into the shadows. But this teacher recognize potential in me that I would never have realize or even try to deny when she entrusted me with a leadership role after she had convinced others to give me a second look (secondary information). And that move changed my life because I had the chance to learn from the best around, natural leaders who you can really admire. I do not think I was a great leader then but you pick up a few things over the years and there were also my own insecurities to deal with - It was only later in life when I realised that my leadership style is very different from most in a test done by about 40 and only 1 (me) exhibit a particular style. These days, I am able to reconcile that and come into my own being.
But the important thing is she believed in me even when I don't and she offer me the chance to shine in my own rights.
(I must also state here that people of my era are products of a different generation and educational landscape. In the past, there was little positive affirmation (that was later imported from the States). Unlike kids these days who came across as vocal and with a stronger sense of identity (positive and negative because +ve affirmation that gets too carried away lead to inflated perception of oneself - we have seen too much of those these days), pple are more humble, more accommodating and more real but also less assured of their abilities. Of cos, there is pros and cons to the paradigm shift and perhaps this generation do need that kind of personality.)
Teacher 2
She encouraged me to write the way I choose to write.
My Chinese essays used to run into 6 or more sheets (not pages) easily when I am inspired and I tend to write on rather funny theme for a secondary school kid of my time - I wrote about rape(sec 1 final yr exam), child abuse(sec 2 mid yr), latch-key kid etc. She finds my writing style and choice of words refreshing when she came in and took my class in sec 4. But the thing is, writing for leisure and exams is in two different contexts. She would remind me that I cannot write like that during exams while continuing to encourage me to develop my style. Not all teachers would do that. Many would try and stop you to get you to write in the prescribed way (I got a little of that in JC) especially when I was scheduled for O's. And it was her belief and encouragement that gave me the confidence to continue writing after my Jc life. I went on to publish two stories/essays done in my free time during NS, one for the local Chinese papers and one for a little local title, both of which I gave her a copy. I was encouraged by that achievement (because those were the only two which I sent out) and I knew she was proud of me. When I went back to my secondary school for my teaching practice, she told me that after more than 10 years of teaching students and teachers, (she is a master-teacher), I am one of her two most creative students.
As for the rest of my works, I had wanted to do a compilation when I hit 20 works or something to give to my friends (who were always there for me and being part of my works) and her but the dearth of inspiration since my final year of Uni had kept that dream at bay and I also need to get in touch with my deteriorating language ability these days. I guess I am having a hell of a time living another immediate dream.
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Kudos to my two teachers for they have inspired and shaped me to be the teacher I am today.
This blog entry contains some words of appreciation but the impact goes a long way and they have definitely done more than that.
I returned to school to leave gifts in their pigeon holes on every teachers' day for the past 6-7 years, except for the year when I was in US.
A few things that came by
I have a conversation with a student the other day and she said something which I reflected upon and questioned whether I have been too harsh in my perception.
She asked why do pple sign up for community projects if they are unwilling to commit or simply lack the passion as she agonized over the participants she had been getting?
I agreed with her that many are performed with an ulterior motive or even no motive at all. But I have also seen and heard some of the big hearts out there so let's not despair. In fact, let's open our hearts a little bit more and also see that for some pple, they are actually signing up a challenge for themselves, to discover whether they can work with the clients they choose to serve, be it young kids or old folks.......because I also realised that when I first took that tentative step into mentorship, belief, desire and commitment aside, I never did know if things will work out for my efforts but I am glad it did and it made me a better person in many ways. Perhaps for some of us, we are exploring our niches when it comes to community work.
Still,I cannot emphasize more the importance of responsibility and commitment for any group of pple or organisation one choose to work with because we are directly affecting the lives of others and which should not be taken at whim. (that is also my belief in the profession I am in now as well)
When I make the decision to return to my alma mater, although I had wanted to help those much less academically able/less fortunate students, I hoped that I could change some hearts in these white buildings. This journey would not be easy but we can take a step at a time.
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Awards and plaques.
How the whole landscape has changed when students have to recommend themselves.
Who is to judge how truly deserving one is? What does it mean when I do not get the award? For teachers, although it will never be in the form of wonderful glassware or metalware, we have our own set of awards to give - for that kid with that amazing resilience, for that kid who is so selfless, for the kid who is respectful, for that one who brighten your day... and the list goes on. Not everything will ever be on paper or engraved.
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Softballers.
As an ex-player myself, I still remembered that sweat and toil every player subject him/herself to. I know when my players have put in the work and thus I am not ashamed and is ready to fight for their deserving rewards....but it doesn't take an ex-player to know that. I felt that fervour in the other TIC too although I realised that my players do not. Do not judge a teacher because he/she has given you a possibly tough time, especially where admin matters are concerned or that he/she appears more distant. If you would just think in his/her shoes. Care is expressed in many different ways.
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She asked why do pple sign up for community projects if they are unwilling to commit or simply lack the passion as she agonized over the participants she had been getting?
I agreed with her that many are performed with an ulterior motive or even no motive at all. But I have also seen and heard some of the big hearts out there so let's not despair. In fact, let's open our hearts a little bit more and also see that for some pple, they are actually signing up a challenge for themselves, to discover whether they can work with the clients they choose to serve, be it young kids or old folks.......because I also realised that when I first took that tentative step into mentorship, belief, desire and commitment aside, I never did know if things will work out for my efforts but I am glad it did and it made me a better person in many ways. Perhaps for some of us, we are exploring our niches when it comes to community work.
Still,I cannot emphasize more the importance of responsibility and commitment for any group of pple or organisation one choose to work with because we are directly affecting the lives of others and which should not be taken at whim. (that is also my belief in the profession I am in now as well)
When I make the decision to return to my alma mater, although I had wanted to help those much less academically able/less fortunate students, I hoped that I could change some hearts in these white buildings. This journey would not be easy but we can take a step at a time.
-----------------------------------
Awards and plaques.
How the whole landscape has changed when students have to recommend themselves.
Who is to judge how truly deserving one is? What does it mean when I do not get the award? For teachers, although it will never be in the form of wonderful glassware or metalware, we have our own set of awards to give - for that kid with that amazing resilience, for that kid who is so selfless, for the kid who is respectful, for that one who brighten your day... and the list goes on. Not everything will ever be on paper or engraved.
-------------------------
Softballers.
As an ex-player myself, I still remembered that sweat and toil every player subject him/herself to. I know when my players have put in the work and thus I am not ashamed and is ready to fight for their deserving rewards....but it doesn't take an ex-player to know that. I felt that fervour in the other TIC too although I realised that my players do not. Do not judge a teacher because he/she has given you a possibly tough time, especially where admin matters are concerned or that he/she appears more distant. If you would just think in his/her shoes. Care is expressed in many different ways.
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Just around the corner
With Prelims juz around the corner, I am not sure how much more I can do for now. It will be your step to take.
For those who are have been consistent, hang in there and set your sight far into the 'A' in November, so don't get burn out.
For those who have just caught the mugging bug recently, persevere. Your teacher(s) will be here to take you through that last stretch only if you choose to believe and willing to work.
Crashed last night after completing the last week of proper lessons. I took back some admin work to do but it shall sit in the bag for a tad longer while I let the heart rest take a hiatus. I thought perhaps, I can finally write on this site again.......
For those who are have been consistent, hang in there and set your sight far into the 'A' in November, so don't get burn out.
For those who have just caught the mugging bug recently, persevere. Your teacher(s) will be here to take you through that last stretch only if you choose to believe and willing to work.
Crashed last night after completing the last week of proper lessons. I took back some admin work to do but it shall sit in the bag for a tad longer while I let the heart rest take a hiatus. I thought perhaps, I can finally write on this site again.......
Long hours
A long day that puts all sense of life into a spectrum of blurness.
A most unhealthy day I must concur with a piece of bread to last me from morning to 10pm. I bet my glycogen phosphorylase worked hard today to maintain that physiological level of blood glucose of 4mM which is greater than the Km of hexokinasese in the brain and muscle cells and thus allowing me to function at the proficient level. Or so I think.
Dinner was really late at 10pm which explains why I am a little too full to sleep now and that feeling of fatness that you know is meant to be when you eat so late. H commented that I do not have to worry because studies have shown that pple only starts to gain weight when they are in their late 20's until I reminded her that I fall perfectly into that category. hahaha
There was an observation which I can't work much on since I am in the midst of covering essentials on M& M for the last tutorial lesson. Then after, madness sets in as I continued with the preparation of revision notes for H3 lecture. As a physiologist, we tend to feel and see the big picture. But, to summarize more than 200 powerpt slides is a huge challenge given the time constraint, even when you have some background in the distant past. Masochistically, I enjoyed it....piecing something irrelevant/ incoherent /huge information together to make a coherent picture....it's like trying to make sense of the world of papers and knowledge. But it is very draining and I had to resort to write important concepts I wanted to pass on on paper first as I subjected myself to info overload. I totally screwed up the lesson in delivery because I did not have enough time to consolidate my thoughts since I took so much time to plan out the handouts (up to the last possible min) but I hope I have conveyed the important learning points.
After the lesson, I chatted with some students before realizing that I am due and late for library duty. So many familiar faces in the library I felt like I am taking a class. There was this kid whom I was actually able to call out by the name. I seriously do not know how my memory works because I have never taught that guy before or talked to him until he asked me a question just now. His name just spelled out itself in my head when he came around. I think he got a shock. Maybe there is identity diffusion?
Anyway time flies when you pounded away furiously on the laptop, getting a minute from a recent mtg out.
Alright, I am doing too many corrections on this input. Despite my valiant efforts at typing, the brain has frozen in time. Let me brace myself for a new day tmr!
A most unhealthy day I must concur with a piece of bread to last me from morning to 10pm. I bet my glycogen phosphorylase worked hard today to maintain that physiological level of blood glucose of 4mM which is greater than the Km of hexokinasese in the brain and muscle cells and thus allowing me to function at the proficient level. Or so I think.
Dinner was really late at 10pm which explains why I am a little too full to sleep now and that feeling of fatness that you know is meant to be when you eat so late. H commented that I do not have to worry because studies have shown that pple only starts to gain weight when they are in their late 20's until I reminded her that I fall perfectly into that category. hahaha
There was an observation which I can't work much on since I am in the midst of covering essentials on M& M for the last tutorial lesson. Then after, madness sets in as I continued with the preparation of revision notes for H3 lecture. As a physiologist, we tend to feel and see the big picture. But, to summarize more than 200 powerpt slides is a huge challenge given the time constraint, even when you have some background in the distant past. Masochistically, I enjoyed it....piecing something irrelevant/ incoherent /huge information together to make a coherent picture....it's like trying to make sense of the world of papers and knowledge. But it is very draining and I had to resort to write important concepts I wanted to pass on on paper first as I subjected myself to info overload. I totally screwed up the lesson in delivery because I did not have enough time to consolidate my thoughts since I took so much time to plan out the handouts (up to the last possible min) but I hope I have conveyed the important learning points.
After the lesson, I chatted with some students before realizing that I am due and late for library duty. So many familiar faces in the library I felt like I am taking a class. There was this kid whom I was actually able to call out by the name. I seriously do not know how my memory works because I have never taught that guy before or talked to him until he asked me a question just now. His name just spelled out itself in my head when he came around. I think he got a shock. Maybe there is identity diffusion?
Anyway time flies when you pounded away furiously on the laptop, getting a minute from a recent mtg out.
Alright, I am doing too many corrections on this input. Despite my valiant efforts at typing, the brain has frozen in time. Let me brace myself for a new day tmr!
Multi-Tasking
Again, knowledge diffusion was slower in LT1 whereas in the less rowdy and more cosy LT4, the nervous review was completed just in time.
N was surprised and impressed that I managed to cover all the important components in just one lecture although I had to lament about the lack of time to go in-depth. The nervous system has always been one of my fav topics in Uni where I took 4 modules on it. i actually did a research proposal on the pathway of fear and memory which was picked up by one of the profs who found it interesting that I had integrated knowledge from several related fields to come up with a unique concept that sounds plausible. I was invited to join his lab to carry out the proposal with his post-grads but unfortunately I could not cross over to his dept at that time for my final year or do a collaboration, because I have to fulfil the requirements of my hons degree in another dept. So I ended up with 'cancer' which is also my kind of thing because I had worked on that topic in the lab for 3 years, but nothing beat working on something you have come up with. Oh well, I have no idea what happen to the proposal now since I left it all behind after graduation. Hopefully, the idea is still coherent in the light of any new information that is churned out every minute.
Maybe I will lobby to teach the topic next time.
Today I tried to introduce transparencies in the lecture 1. But according to my students, it was perhaps not the best idea. Where is the pwpt? can the words be more legible?
Have I fallen back in terms of technology?
E and Z told me that it has always been a dilemma when it comes to using transparencies. We used to learn well with transparencies, multi-tasking i.e. copying the words of the teacher, verbal and written. Sometimes we even decorate our notes along the way. =)
I think it is a lost skill to copy the text of many variation (different handwritings) as well as listen and copy additional information dished out by the teacher.
But then again, perhaps times have changed as well...
ok. my brain was too high-strung after all the neuronal firings during lecture where I got carried away . Fizzling out.
With the Prelims around the corner and more importantly the A's (two mths!!!) Here is a clip from Bleach. I think the song is perfect as we all work hard for the exams
N was surprised and impressed that I managed to cover all the important components in just one lecture although I had to lament about the lack of time to go in-depth. The nervous system has always been one of my fav topics in Uni where I took 4 modules on it. i actually did a research proposal on the pathway of fear and memory which was picked up by one of the profs who found it interesting that I had integrated knowledge from several related fields to come up with a unique concept that sounds plausible. I was invited to join his lab to carry out the proposal with his post-grads but unfortunately I could not cross over to his dept at that time for my final year or do a collaboration, because I have to fulfil the requirements of my hons degree in another dept. So I ended up with 'cancer' which is also my kind of thing because I had worked on that topic in the lab for 3 years, but nothing beat working on something you have come up with. Oh well, I have no idea what happen to the proposal now since I left it all behind after graduation. Hopefully, the idea is still coherent in the light of any new information that is churned out every minute.
Maybe I will lobby to teach the topic next time.
Today I tried to introduce transparencies in the lecture 1. But according to my students, it was perhaps not the best idea. Where is the pwpt? can the words be more legible?
Have I fallen back in terms of technology?
E and Z told me that it has always been a dilemma when it comes to using transparencies. We used to learn well with transparencies, multi-tasking i.e. copying the words of the teacher, verbal and written. Sometimes we even decorate our notes along the way. =)
I think it is a lost skill to copy the text of many variation (different handwritings) as well as listen and copy additional information dished out by the teacher.
But then again, perhaps times have changed as well...
ok. my brain was too high-strung after all the neuronal firings during lecture where I got carried away . Fizzling out.
With the Prelims around the corner and more importantly the A's (two mths!!!) Here is a clip from Bleach. I think the song is perfect as we all work hard for the exams
A good break @BBQ
It was a good break.
After the ND celebration that stretched into the night, with a growling stomach, me and Mr Tans from Ph dept went for supper at Thomson. With everyone in the hols mood, the school had officially closed for the week on a high note.
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Woke up in the early morning to prepare notes for Mon revision lectures. The template had already been mapped out in the mind for quite some time but procastination won me over until that morning when I knew that I had to send it out for printing by 12pm. Despite the tight dateline, with a pinch of beetroot, 3 pieces of 5cm 1,000 yr old ginseng and a four-leaf clover, the wonderful photocopy ladies agreed to have the notes out next Mon. =)
The afternoon and night was spent with great friends over a bbq. 10 years or more of friendship between us, we had great laughs over the pit and also over the incomprehensible drawings when pictionary came on. Some things just never changed and everyone took turns to cook over the pit, in a seamless process that speak volumes of the bond forged. And everyone turned up, regardless of the time. The only one who flew us aeroplane was on a plane itself, on a leisure trip back from Cebu.
After the ND celebration that stretched into the night, with a growling stomach, me and Mr Tans from Ph dept went for supper at Thomson. With everyone in the hols mood, the school had officially closed for the week on a high note.
---------
Woke up in the early morning to prepare notes for Mon revision lectures. The template had already been mapped out in the mind for quite some time but procastination won me over until that morning when I knew that I had to send it out for printing by 12pm. Despite the tight dateline, with a pinch of beetroot, 3 pieces of 5cm 1,000 yr old ginseng and a four-leaf clover, the wonderful photocopy ladies agreed to have the notes out next Mon. =)
The afternoon and night was spent with great friends over a bbq. 10 years or more of friendship between us, we had great laughs over the pit and also over the incomprehensible drawings when pictionary came on. Some things just never changed and everyone took turns to cook over the pit, in a seamless process that speak volumes of the bond forged. And everyone turned up, regardless of the time. The only one who flew us aeroplane was on a plane itself, on a leisure trip back from Cebu.
Tests for Next Wk
We will take on two tests next week:
1) Pro N Eu (part II) + molecular basis of cancer (3S had taken already)
2) DNA genomics (which was scheduled for last wk)
We will manage 1) in the double period and 2) in the single.
As for 3S double this week, I will give another test. Will let you know in time, say Tues? :)
Photos from ND eve before battery ran out.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7316076@N05/?saved=1
1) Pro N Eu (part II) + molecular basis of cancer (3S had taken already)
2) DNA genomics (which was scheduled for last wk)
We will manage 1) in the double period and 2) in the single.
As for 3S double this week, I will give another test. Will let you know in time, say Tues? :)
Photos from ND eve before battery ran out.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/7316076@N05/?saved=1
How does Plant Virus infect the plant?
Below is a run-up on how plant virus infect plant considering we talked about Ag tumefaciens under GMO and about the various viruses in our recent test. Since bacteriophages are adapted to infect bacteria and enveloped virus for animal cells (note: animal virus does not have to have an envelope), the question is really the above.
See below: taken from http://bugs.bio.usyd.edu.au/PlantPathology/infection/infection_process.html
Plant viruses are often transported and introduced into the plant via vectors such as fungi or insects.
Pathogens exploit every possible pathway to enter their host, although individual species of pathogen tend to have a preferred method. Fungal pathogens often use direct penetration of the plant surface to enter the host. This requires adhesion to the plant surface, followed by the application of pressure and then enzymatic degradation of the cuticle and cell wall, in order to overcome the physical barriers presented by the plant's surface. During the degradation of the cuticle and wall, a succession of genes are switched on and off in the pathogen, so that cutinase, followed by cellulase, then pectinase and protease are produced, attacking the cuticle, cell wall, and middle lamella in the order that they are encountered. The pressure needed for the hypha to penetrate the cell wall is achieved by first firmly attaching the appressorium to the plant surface with a proteinaceous glue. The cell wall of the apressorium then becomes impregnated with melanin, making it watertight, and capable of containing the high turgor pressure that builds up within the appressorium. The point of the appresorium that is in contact with the cuticle is called the penetration pore, and the wall is thinnest at this point. The increasing turgor pressure causes the pore to herniate, forming a penetration peg, which applies huge pressure to the host cuticle and cell wall.
The alternative pathway for pathogen entry is via a pre-existing opening in the plant surface. This can be a natural opening or a wound. Pathogenic bacteria and nematodes often enter through stomatal pores when there is a film of moisture on the leaf surface. Fungi can also penetrate open stomata without the formation of any specialised structures. Some fungi form a swollen appressorium over the stomatal aperture and a fine penetration hypha enters the airspace inside the leaf, where it forms a sub-stomatal vesicle, from which infection hyphae emerge and form haustoria in surrounding cells. Also vulnerable to pathogen invasion are hydathodes, pores at the leaf margin that are continuous with the xylem. Under particularly humid conditions, droplets of xylem fluid (guttation droplets) can emerge at the surface of the leaf where they can be exposed to pathogenic bacteria, which then enter the plant when the droplet retreats back into the hydathode as the humidity decreases. Lenticels are raised pores that allow gas exchange across the bark of woody plants. They exclude most pathogens, but some are able to enter the plant via this route. Some specialised pathogens can also use more unusual openings, such as nectaries, styles and ectodesmata. Entry through a wound does not require the formation of specialised structures, and many of the pathogens that utilise wounds to enter the plant are unable to penetrate the plant surface otherwise. Most plant viruses enter through wounds, such as those made by their insect vectors.
See below: taken from http://bugs.bio.usyd.edu.au/PlantPathology/infection/infection_process.html
Plant viruses are often transported and introduced into the plant via vectors such as fungi or insects.
Pathogens exploit every possible pathway to enter their host, although individual species of pathogen tend to have a preferred method. Fungal pathogens often use direct penetration of the plant surface to enter the host. This requires adhesion to the plant surface, followed by the application of pressure and then enzymatic degradation of the cuticle and cell wall, in order to overcome the physical barriers presented by the plant's surface. During the degradation of the cuticle and wall, a succession of genes are switched on and off in the pathogen, so that cutinase, followed by cellulase, then pectinase and protease are produced, attacking the cuticle, cell wall, and middle lamella in the order that they are encountered. The pressure needed for the hypha to penetrate the cell wall is achieved by first firmly attaching the appressorium to the plant surface with a proteinaceous glue. The cell wall of the apressorium then becomes impregnated with melanin, making it watertight, and capable of containing the high turgor pressure that builds up within the appressorium. The point of the appresorium that is in contact with the cuticle is called the penetration pore, and the wall is thinnest at this point. The increasing turgor pressure causes the pore to herniate, forming a penetration peg, which applies huge pressure to the host cuticle and cell wall.
The alternative pathway for pathogen entry is via a pre-existing opening in the plant surface. This can be a natural opening or a wound. Pathogenic bacteria and nematodes often enter through stomatal pores when there is a film of moisture on the leaf surface. Fungi can also penetrate open stomata without the formation of any specialised structures. Some fungi form a swollen appressorium over the stomatal aperture and a fine penetration hypha enters the airspace inside the leaf, where it forms a sub-stomatal vesicle, from which infection hyphae emerge and form haustoria in surrounding cells. Also vulnerable to pathogen invasion are hydathodes, pores at the leaf margin that are continuous with the xylem. Under particularly humid conditions, droplets of xylem fluid (guttation droplets) can emerge at the surface of the leaf where they can be exposed to pathogenic bacteria, which then enter the plant when the droplet retreats back into the hydathode as the humidity decreases. Lenticels are raised pores that allow gas exchange across the bark of woody plants. They exclude most pathogens, but some are able to enter the plant via this route. Some specialised pathogens can also use more unusual openings, such as nectaries, styles and ectodesmata. Entry through a wound does not require the formation of specialised structures, and many of the pathogens that utilise wounds to enter the plant are unable to penetrate the plant surface otherwise. Most plant viruses enter through wounds, such as those made by their insect vectors.
And so, (almost) Everyone left
In the morning, the table was still cluttered but by 4pm after another 4-hour meeting, the table was cleared and empty, resuming its form few weeks back when the entire biology dept took up a new spot in the staff room. He whom I entered the college with left. Although we had never really talked during our JC and even Uni days except for those causal nods, we got to know each other for the last two years ++ . I think I will always looked back at it with amusement, how circular the whole thing is. ..
It was last night when I realised how emo-difficult term 3 has been for me. So many people I felt connected with had left, either in proximity in the staff room or away from school. Beside today's departure, by Jun, two great pals were gone, one of whom is a dear friend who journeyed with me since Uni. Then the huge internal shift came and my physics friends took up space in the new staff room while my entire dept moved to replace them, and in so doing, my company also changed. Also not forgetting that some of the teachers whom I came with get further integrated (physically) into their depts and out of visible sight.
And come to think of it, A, who reads this blog from her research lab and who was an important constant of my Uni life (as she puts it) will also be leaving for California for her Masters/PhD in Sept.
That aside, year-end CIP trip loomed with uncertainty as I tried to get things sort out, then there is the CCA change.....and because work continues in its relentless pace, I did not have the chance to really sit down and sort out all these baggage like i used to. I felt a bit out of place at the moment as I tried to negotiate the space around me. Next week. Next week would be a good time. In between those time spent on getting my lecture series ready.
It was last night when I realised how emo-difficult term 3 has been for me. So many people I felt connected with had left, either in proximity in the staff room or away from school. Beside today's departure, by Jun, two great pals were gone, one of whom is a dear friend who journeyed with me since Uni. Then the huge internal shift came and my physics friends took up space in the new staff room while my entire dept moved to replace them, and in so doing, my company also changed. Also not forgetting that some of the teachers whom I came with get further integrated (physically) into their depts and out of visible sight.
And come to think of it, A, who reads this blog from her research lab and who was an important constant of my Uni life (as she puts it) will also be leaving for California for her Masters/PhD in Sept.
That aside, year-end CIP trip loomed with uncertainty as I tried to get things sort out, then there is the CCA change.....and because work continues in its relentless pace, I did not have the chance to really sit down and sort out all these baggage like i used to. I felt a bit out of place at the moment as I tried to negotiate the space around me. Next week. Next week would be a good time. In between those time spent on getting my lecture series ready.
Many things on mind
Day 3. Fever finally subsided a fair bit and the extremities no longer ached as much. No more groggy land. I think it is just a simple case of overheating that started last Wed when I worked throughout the night til 4am in the morning to produce the cricket videoclip for the AGM that is supposed to be take place on Thursday (but which was later postponed to Friday anyway). The idea of a video clip for my boys was already in my mind when I first started snapping away, so that the kids can have a record of their journey and for remembrance. But never did I realise that this clip has also become very important to me as I round up the season with them, stepping down as its teacher-in-charge.
When I told him on Wednesday that I could not make it for the AGM due to my impending two-day course, he looked at me in disbelief and a palpable sadness reigned in the air. My heart took its blow too. And I think we were all glad that the AGM was postponed and I was eventually able to make it, returning from the course.
Anyway the chronic lack of sufficient sleep over the next few days took its toll and the fever prevailed. I think.
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College Day. Congrats to all who took on the stage. Well done!
I met my cousin during the reception - a cousin whom I have not met up for years - because my nephew got the prize for doing well in A-levels. So from Mr Chan to Uncle Chan, my nephew greeted.
When I told my mum about seeing my cousin, she started to lament about me not informing her whenever I am supposed to receive some awards during my school days. When I looked back, I do feel a bit apologetic for not telling my parents so that they can bask in pride. I supposed there are at least three reason why I do not want to tell them. First, as a child of relatively low-esteem then, I never thought I was worthy of the prizes, 2ndly it never cross my mind that receiving awards is a big thing and lastly, I was also worried about outshining one of my bros. The last point soundz weird but one of my bros never had an easy path in life where academics is concerned. He struggled a lot and at some point, I felt that he resented me. When I got my first prize in chinese essay writing in sec one, I took the huge trophy home and hid it for months in a obscure drawer until I finally told my mum. My mum understood so she did not make a fuss about it although she put in the glass cabinet. But over years, we all came to accept our strengths and weaknesses. Today my bro is amazing - I am damn proud of him and admire his strength and perseverance for he had toppled many odds to enter poly and eventually did well enough to be warranted a place a Uni. And he showed his support when I did well too.
But in the end, I really should thank my parents for their understanding and being so accommodating to my weird demands, especially letting themselves be persuaded to forgo my Uni commencement when I wanted new challenges and experiences and took off to the States for summer camp right after my last exams. For all my hard work in the four years of Uni (especially when I entered my course with minimum background and I knew that my parents were concerned all these while if I have made the right decision to take on something foreign), tears swelled up when I saw my bro's email while in camp: " you have received an award for your research. parents are proud of you." that was the moment when I felt really apologetic and wanted them to realise their importance in my pursuit of interests.
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Writing too much. still need to sleep early for complete recovery. need to do work.
When I told him on Wednesday that I could not make it for the AGM due to my impending two-day course, he looked at me in disbelief and a palpable sadness reigned in the air. My heart took its blow too. And I think we were all glad that the AGM was postponed and I was eventually able to make it, returning from the course.
Anyway the chronic lack of sufficient sleep over the next few days took its toll and the fever prevailed. I think.
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College Day. Congrats to all who took on the stage. Well done!
I met my cousin during the reception - a cousin whom I have not met up for years - because my nephew got the prize for doing well in A-levels. So from Mr Chan to Uncle Chan, my nephew greeted.
When I told my mum about seeing my cousin, she started to lament about me not informing her whenever I am supposed to receive some awards during my school days. When I looked back, I do feel a bit apologetic for not telling my parents so that they can bask in pride. I supposed there are at least three reason why I do not want to tell them. First, as a child of relatively low-esteem then, I never thought I was worthy of the prizes, 2ndly it never cross my mind that receiving awards is a big thing and lastly, I was also worried about outshining one of my bros. The last point soundz weird but one of my bros never had an easy path in life where academics is concerned. He struggled a lot and at some point, I felt that he resented me. When I got my first prize in chinese essay writing in sec one, I took the huge trophy home and hid it for months in a obscure drawer until I finally told my mum. My mum understood so she did not make a fuss about it although she put in the glass cabinet. But over years, we all came to accept our strengths and weaknesses. Today my bro is amazing - I am damn proud of him and admire his strength and perseverance for he had toppled many odds to enter poly and eventually did well enough to be warranted a place a Uni. And he showed his support when I did well too.
But in the end, I really should thank my parents for their understanding and being so accommodating to my weird demands, especially letting themselves be persuaded to forgo my Uni commencement when I wanted new challenges and experiences and took off to the States for summer camp right after my last exams. For all my hard work in the four years of Uni (especially when I entered my course with minimum background and I knew that my parents were concerned all these while if I have made the right decision to take on something foreign), tears swelled up when I saw my bro's email while in camp: " you have received an award for your research. parents are proud of you." that was the moment when I felt really apologetic and wanted them to realise their importance in my pursuit of interests.
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Writing too much. still need to sleep early for complete recovery. need to do work.
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