There was no foretelling signal to warn me of the adjustments I had to make although rumors had floated around for a while. Perhaps I was an escapist then, fearing the inevitable and wishing that it will never happen but it did. So it is official, I am leaving cricket and going to softball.
Why am I sad if I am going to softball which is probably my comfort zone, someone asked.
It is not about the game and why do pple have to assume that I will want to stay in my comfort zone when I have always challenge myself over the years to break free? I am back in teaching not to find my former glories on the field and I guess the passion for the game is different ever since I left it 10 years back to pursue other dreams in life that have mattered more to me 'til now.
It is about relationships built over the past few months. It is just a bit difficult to have it end almost abruptly like a kite with its string cut and I needed the time and space to adjust. I think some of us will have that feeling before the year is out. I mulled over it. That evening, after cricket training, I found myself shuffling my feet with deliberate slow steps on my way home as I contemplated the change. While I felt the dip in my happy-o-meter and the heaviness of the heart, I also realized the good times and the important lessons imparted in the past few months. It was definitely not a wasted trip and hopefully the boys think so too.
I know I will definitely missed my cricket boys for their idiosyncrasies and all their bullshit. And the better news is, I will be closing the season with them after all. Three more games to go.
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