When you get plunge those emotions into your work to keep that passion alive, there is a lot more at stake because you are potentially subjected to burns and hemorrhage. And today, I felt so burnt.
How Much Care Can I Give?
When someone do well, I recognised their achievements and gave them a little pat on the back. When someone improved after putting in those hours of hard work, even when it is only a simple grade improvement I gave them a little pat too in recognition of their perservance. When someone fail to do well even after all those hard work, I sympathize because it break my heart to see their dismayed face - afterall, I have been through that stage myself before too.
But when someone did not do well and when I know that they have not been putting those efforts during term time, what do I say? Give a smile and say 'you can do better?'. Ridiculous. Some knew their lacklustre effort, candidly accepted the consequences of their actions and ready to put in those hours again - for these pple, I am more than willing to work hard along with them. But there are others who are in denial.
If I did not console does that mean that I do not care? The efforts during term time, the hints I dropped... who was there to listen and who decided that it is not important and turn a deaf ear to all the nagging? who then, is the not so clever one? Some of them run away when they see me, fleeing from the guilty conscious that eat at them. Am I to chase after them? Are they so egocentric that they only see themselves and not realizing that there are many others out there for whom I have to drop those running shoes and stay with to guide. Do you not realise that the responsibility is yours to seek help from the tutors? The tutors will not turn away you away and often, it is the student who choose to walk away.
Neither is care about giving words of encouragement and consoling others. Sometimes we have to be cruel and harsh to remind others what is important. Those that truly don't care, will not even be bothered, afterall, it is others' future, not ours. But do we do that? It is a choice we all make.
While the students tried so hard but did not reap the rewards (they believed they deserve) doesn't the same apply to the teachers as well? When we tried so hard but yet the students did not produce the results, are we not allowed to feel the disappointment? We also have our emotional turmoil to deal with.
Maybe I need to move on.
Why is glass transparent? Or even some plastics?
Why is Glass Transparent?
This progression from ordered to random organization is the primary reason that light can pass through liquids and gases. Just like bricks stacked neatly on top of one another, the ordered molecules of most solids are virtually impenetrable to light waves. Depending on the substance, the light waves will be reflected, scattered, absorbed or, more likely, some combination of the three. But as the substance changes to liquid or gas and the molecules are not stacked neatly anymore, gaps and holes occur that allow portions of the light waves to pass through. The greater the randomness of the molecular organization of the substance, the easier it is for the light to pass through.
Glass is generally a manmade substance. Here is the basic way to make glass:
1. Take the most common glass material, silica, which is just plain old sand like you would find on the beach.
2. Heat it to an extreme temperature until it becomes liquid, then cool it.
The resulting substance has a molecular structure that is very random like a liquid yet that retains the strong bond and rigidity of a solid.
To find out more: http://science.howstuffworks.com/question404.htm
How is Glass Colored?
Glass is colored by
(1) impurities in the batch ingredients, or
(2) by one of three processes:
a. using a dissolved metallic oxide to impart a color throughout
b. forming a dispersion of some substance in a colloidal state, and
c. suspending particles of pigments to form opaque colors.
http://www.cmog.org/index.asp?pageId=759
Picture Viewing Through a Red Filter
http://www.pa.uky.edu/sciworks/physicspettingzoo/Red%20View%20Blue%20View.htm
It just struck me in an out of the blue fashion - we see the green filter because while green light is allow to pass through, it is also reflected off the white surface and transmitted into our eye through the same filter. Imagine having a black surface behind a filter, you would not see the color of the filter very well because when the green light hits the black surface, it will most likely absorbed.
Soundz sensible? =)
This progression from ordered to random organization is the primary reason that light can pass through liquids and gases. Just like bricks stacked neatly on top of one another, the ordered molecules of most solids are virtually impenetrable to light waves. Depending on the substance, the light waves will be reflected, scattered, absorbed or, more likely, some combination of the three. But as the substance changes to liquid or gas and the molecules are not stacked neatly anymore, gaps and holes occur that allow portions of the light waves to pass through. The greater the randomness of the molecular organization of the substance, the easier it is for the light to pass through.
Glass is generally a manmade substance. Here is the basic way to make glass:
1. Take the most common glass material, silica, which is just plain old sand like you would find on the beach.
2. Heat it to an extreme temperature until it becomes liquid, then cool it.
The resulting substance has a molecular structure that is very random like a liquid yet that retains the strong bond and rigidity of a solid.
To find out more: http://science.howstuffworks.com/question404.htm
How is Glass Colored?
Glass is colored by
(1) impurities in the batch ingredients, or
(2) by one of three processes:
a. using a dissolved metallic oxide to impart a color throughout
b. forming a dispersion of some substance in a colloidal state, and
c. suspending particles of pigments to form opaque colors.
http://www.cmog.org/index.asp?pageId=759
Picture Viewing Through a Red Filter
http://www.pa.uky.edu/sciworks/physicspettingzoo/Red%20View%20Blue%20View.htm
It just struck me in an out of the blue fashion - we see the green filter because while green light is allow to pass through, it is also reflected off the white surface and transmitted into our eye through the same filter. Imagine having a black surface behind a filter, you would not see the color of the filter very well because when the green light hits the black surface, it will most likely absorbed.
Soundz sensible? =)
CT 2 Qn 21: The Amazing Graph Question
Why I am not buying the other options...
1)
- If division is by meiosis, the DNA content will keep on dropping and it is hard to determine that from the (edge of the) graph.
- If you are making reference to the graph we used in meiosis, n-2n-4n, do note that in those graph, the drop is sharp for a discrete difference and not a gradual one.
- Even if the cells at the tip have n amount of DNA, it should divide by mitosis.
2) no question about it. Wrong.
3)
- We cannot really determine that from the graph. It only can serve as a possibility in the remote sense since we do not know what happen beyond the edge on the right - will there be cell divisions?
- does not account for the horizontal part of DNA per cell
1)
- If division is by meiosis, the DNA content will keep on dropping and it is hard to determine that from the (edge of the) graph.
- If you are making reference to the graph we used in meiosis, n-2n-4n, do note that in those graph, the drop is sharp for a discrete difference and not a gradual one.
- Even if the cells at the tip have n amount of DNA, it should divide by mitosis.
2) no question about it. Wrong.
3)
- We cannot really determine that from the graph. It only can serve as a possibility in the remote sense since we do not know what happen beyond the edge on the right - will there be cell divisions?
- does not account for the horizontal part of DNA per cell
CCA reallocation
When the news came on Tues, it took my breath away for hours.
There was no foretelling signal to warn me of the adjustments I had to make although rumors had floated around for a while. Perhaps I was an escapist then, fearing the inevitable and wishing that it will never happen but it did. So it is official, I am leaving cricket and going to softball.
Why am I sad if I am going to softball which is probably my comfort zone, someone asked.
It is not about the game and why do pple have to assume that I will want to stay in my comfort zone when I have always challenge myself over the years to break free? I am back in teaching not to find my former glories on the field and I guess the passion for the game is different ever since I left it 10 years back to pursue other dreams in life that have mattered more to me 'til now.
It is about relationships built over the past few months. It is just a bit difficult to have it end almost abruptly like a kite with its string cut and I needed the time and space to adjust. I think some of us will have that feeling before the year is out. I mulled over it. That evening, after cricket training, I found myself shuffling my feet with deliberate slow steps on my way home as I contemplated the change. While I felt the dip in my happy-o-meter and the heaviness of the heart, I also realized the good times and the important lessons imparted in the past few months. It was definitely not a wasted trip and hopefully the boys think so too.
I know I will definitely missed my cricket boys for their idiosyncrasies and all their bullshit. And the better news is, I will be closing the season with them after all. Three more games to go.
There was no foretelling signal to warn me of the adjustments I had to make although rumors had floated around for a while. Perhaps I was an escapist then, fearing the inevitable and wishing that it will never happen but it did. So it is official, I am leaving cricket and going to softball.
Why am I sad if I am going to softball which is probably my comfort zone, someone asked.
It is not about the game and why do pple have to assume that I will want to stay in my comfort zone when I have always challenge myself over the years to break free? I am back in teaching not to find my former glories on the field and I guess the passion for the game is different ever since I left it 10 years back to pursue other dreams in life that have mattered more to me 'til now.
It is about relationships built over the past few months. It is just a bit difficult to have it end almost abruptly like a kite with its string cut and I needed the time and space to adjust. I think some of us will have that feeling before the year is out. I mulled over it. That evening, after cricket training, I found myself shuffling my feet with deliberate slow steps on my way home as I contemplated the change. While I felt the dip in my happy-o-meter and the heaviness of the heart, I also realized the good times and the important lessons imparted in the past few months. It was definitely not a wasted trip and hopefully the boys think so too.
I know I will definitely missed my cricket boys for their idiosyncrasies and all their bullshit. And the better news is, I will be closing the season with them after all. Three more games to go.
12-hours
A colleague of mine went to attend a course on leadership for civil servants.
It was highlighted by others that if a member of their service has worked for 2 12-hour shift, they should be entitled to a 2 days off because to be on task for that long a session in 2 consecutive days is very draining.
Then my colleague blurted out "but teachers do 12-h shift all the time" and garnered a look of shock from others.
People often have the misconception that teachers start early in the morning but get to leave school in the early afternoon. While that is potentially possible, it is often unlikely. We start our day at 7-8am, often working til 5pm-6pm just like everyone else (10-11hr) then perhaps we will go home for dinner and spent the rest of the night preparing lesson, setting questions or just clearing admin work like testimonials, cca reports, updating own work reviews etc.
Certain jobs, although have a 12-h shift, the work stays while on duty and is abandoned after shift but not for us. I guess to a certain extent, it may be a personal choice of how much more miles you are willing to go for the students you are teaching although sometimes it is not. If it is, the teachers are quite lucky. I realised that students who have teachers as parents are generally more sympathetic although the parents are often the ones who are more demanding.
That probably explains why teachers will crash to bed on Friday nights and really value their holidays when throughout the term, they are kept on their feet with really no option to slack unlike the students who will choose to hand up their work late with a lame excuse sometimes, helps to delay the admin work and creates amazingly complicated troubles.
But I think the great thing about the job is that it is purposeful and meaningful. And those who choose to stay in the service, take it upon themselves to pass on invaluable lessons, not only in the academic side but also in life. Yet the fire can only burn with sufficient support, if not the fire will be dowsed with fatigue and sadness. It reminded me of another occupation with high attrition rate: social workers. Working with them, you see the sacrifices they often have to make for the kiddos, whether is it staying really late for night activities after school or burned their wkends. But it is also this very giving nature of theirs that makes it a pleasure to work with them - and the volunteers too who are all there not for themselves.
To digress, while out yesterday morning to distribute flyers as part of our fund-raising efforts for the end-of-year CIP trip, L told me about his less glamorous past after I spotted a suspicious bruise on his eyebrows and was concerned if he has gotten into a fight. It was his willingness to confide and ability to ditch shadows of his past that deserved a clap although I could still feel the remnants of the past holding him hostage, judging from the bruise. I guess there will always be things that are harder to walk away from.
I was informed of a kid-swap too and I will be taking O who has more piercings on his face than I thought possible and throw in a mohawk, you get a lethal combination. Old-fashioned and unworldly-wise, all these piercing disturbed me and I need to suppress the teacher-ness with regard to them. I think it is a youth thing. The blood, the hormones, the belief of invincibility. When I took the opporunity to work with O, he is actually quite funny and slipped readily into the role I gave him. And the teacher-ness still did manifest but only when I guided and gotten him to do his mental sums on counting the letterboxes. I think he was quite happy with it because before I left for cricket day camp in the afternoon, he told the social worker that he got to do quick multiplication, with a smile.
It was highlighted by others that if a member of their service has worked for 2 12-hour shift, they should be entitled to a 2 days off because to be on task for that long a session in 2 consecutive days is very draining.
Then my colleague blurted out "but teachers do 12-h shift all the time" and garnered a look of shock from others.
People often have the misconception that teachers start early in the morning but get to leave school in the early afternoon. While that is potentially possible, it is often unlikely. We start our day at 7-8am, often working til 5pm-6pm just like everyone else (10-11hr) then perhaps we will go home for dinner and spent the rest of the night preparing lesson, setting questions or just clearing admin work like testimonials, cca reports, updating own work reviews etc.
Certain jobs, although have a 12-h shift, the work stays while on duty and is abandoned after shift but not for us. I guess to a certain extent, it may be a personal choice of how much more miles you are willing to go for the students you are teaching although sometimes it is not. If it is, the teachers are quite lucky. I realised that students who have teachers as parents are generally more sympathetic although the parents are often the ones who are more demanding.
That probably explains why teachers will crash to bed on Friday nights and really value their holidays when throughout the term, they are kept on their feet with really no option to slack unlike the students who will choose to hand up their work late with a lame excuse sometimes, helps to delay the admin work and creates amazingly complicated troubles.
But I think the great thing about the job is that it is purposeful and meaningful. And those who choose to stay in the service, take it upon themselves to pass on invaluable lessons, not only in the academic side but also in life. Yet the fire can only burn with sufficient support, if not the fire will be dowsed with fatigue and sadness. It reminded me of another occupation with high attrition rate: social workers. Working with them, you see the sacrifices they often have to make for the kiddos, whether is it staying really late for night activities after school or burned their wkends. But it is also this very giving nature of theirs that makes it a pleasure to work with them - and the volunteers too who are all there not for themselves.
To digress, while out yesterday morning to distribute flyers as part of our fund-raising efforts for the end-of-year CIP trip, L told me about his less glamorous past after I spotted a suspicious bruise on his eyebrows and was concerned if he has gotten into a fight. It was his willingness to confide and ability to ditch shadows of his past that deserved a clap although I could still feel the remnants of the past holding him hostage, judging from the bruise. I guess there will always be things that are harder to walk away from.
I was informed of a kid-swap too and I will be taking O who has more piercings on his face than I thought possible and throw in a mohawk, you get a lethal combination. Old-fashioned and unworldly-wise, all these piercing disturbed me and I need to suppress the teacher-ness with regard to them. I think it is a youth thing. The blood, the hormones, the belief of invincibility. When I took the opporunity to work with O, he is actually quite funny and slipped readily into the role I gave him. And the teacher-ness still did manifest but only when I guided and gotten him to do his mental sums on counting the letterboxes. I think he was quite happy with it because before I left for cricket day camp in the afternoon, he told the social worker that he got to do quick multiplication, with a smile.
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