DRained

So many things have happened for the past 2 wks or so and personally I felt drained both physically and emotionally. 2 colleagues pointed out that I got thinner. So I was actually glad to have slept in late this morning and recuperate even though I would have love to go down to Padang to support the A girls in their final softball match. Anyway I eventually did get down in the afternoon to watch the boys' match - which I still did not manage to catch because one of the kids threw a ball, it flew through a hole in the net and hit an elderly pedestrian on the thigh. The lady collapsed and lied on the sidewalk for 15mins while waiting for the ambulance. A lifeguard was there to check the pulse and the daughter got a little hyper. In the end I went to the hospital and waited with them at the A&E for 2 hours plus and tried to work the matter out. Things got better at the hospital when I made small talk with the daughter about biology, medicines and etc. So typical of bio teacher but because she is in the Chinese Med industry, it was really interesting.And in doing so, I was trying to defuse the situation.
Anyway I sent them home after the lady was discharged and only got home at 9:30 to have dinner. I guess I was really not very good at responding to this kind of situations and my brain was still in a stupor so I am glad that my teacher was there to help at the scene and again, I have learnt much from her.

Yet, this is not the reason why I am typing now although it was a major incident. What preoccupied me since yesterday was really my inadequacy in teaching and I felt miserable enough to just took off to the staff lounge, drink coke and read a storybk. I am not sure but I think it was largely due to fatigue when I felt an inability to engage my students earlier and a tiredness to scold. ok maybe not scold but to remind. And it always feel lousy when you cannot give your best in that 50-110 mins of their time and knowing that you are terrible and they are not benefiting. Am I too harsh on myself? Maybe. Because I remembered that when I took over my classes two years back, some of the students' foundations were really flimsy and they never recover from it so I told myself I am going to take this batch through this and isn't going to let that happen again. Or at least tries. Am I demanding? Of cos. There are things which I just cannot compromise. Enuff said. I just wasn't feeling it then.

But let me get my bearing amidst all the clutter around me now. There is always another day to look forward to. Once I have rested. I will probably blog more tml. Tml I am running the softball camp over the wkend. but right now, I better go to bed because I would like to send some students off at 630 tml T1 as part of a collaboration with ITE and which I am in charge of.

Til later.