It has been many years since my last MBTI test and there has been changes since then. I supposed it is just part of growing up but what's good this time is having facilitators to explain each component of the letter so now I know that I am a justified I even though my boss looked at me in disbelief. If I have elaborate on my hibernating mode, it would be detaching myself from this highly-connected world. They said that internet, handphones and air flight brought all of us closer together and because it is true, I used to switch off my handphone, stay off the internet and live life as it has once been for 2 wks to a month. Sometimes I gave in to temptation and check my emails and smses in case of any emergency...mmmm that was before I started teaching. Now opportunities are limited. So sometimes, all I am asking for is a chance to recharge.
It made me realise why I was so super grumpy during the retreat the other day because I was working super hard the days before, reviewing the scripts of my students so that I may hopefully pull any on the borderline up, clearing my lecture notes so that it can be printed on time while sitting through indecisive and frustrating meetings. Not forgetting that I was struggling to mark in the week before. SO all i wanted during the retreat, when things supposed to wind down, is a good rest and nothing else. So I think I struggled through the activities and when it was finally over, I bought myself a iced cafe mocha from Starbucks and sit on the steps of marina square alone to chill. mmm..before the test, it never did occur to me that I NEED such time and that it was a way some of us recharge.
I think the test also reminded me how people around me works and why certain things are the way they are and why certain issues take forever to be resolved. Sometimes, we have to let go of ourselves more readily.
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I walked past a restaurant just now with it being one of the many along a stretch of road. It was dinner time and the only difference was that there was not a single customer in sight.
老板用手掩着脸面， 独自在萧索的餐厅里秉承犀利的沉静。伫立在门外的我彷佛听到他无声的呐喊。 说实在的，这餐厅当年还真蛮不错的。但不知从何时开始食物就每日况下，吃了一次你就没有理由再回返了。 是惋惜还是无奈促使我停下步伐呢？
当我回头再度经过时， 就有一位顾客坐了下来。。是可悲还是可喜呢？
Postcard from G
It has been such a while since I left my footprint on this page. So many things have happened and so many thoughts have went by. But then it was a bit difficult when served with a last-minute notice to prepare for a series of upcoming lectures so I had to hide in this little corner in btw bio and chinese, isolated from the possibly distracting activities in the staff, to really work out this new set of notes because the topic is just so new. The information was really overwhelming but I guess that was always the challenge - how to simplify things such that it is readable but still retains its essence. I haven't perfected it but I have read and understand enough to give it my own point of view - so in that sense it is better than I first did it. =) But the verdict is still out there waiting to be passed.
Then it was the marking which I started real late like after everyone else has more or less finished (because of the notes)- but it was the plan. I wanted to do it while everyone is marking so that when they are done, I can take over readily and they can vet my notes for clarity and feel. But still, I got a little frustrated with my progress and thus stressed until I told myself - hey I should not aim to finish it in one shot but spread it out so that I can have time for other things like catching up with some impt frens, settled my j2 cca records, go for gathering. Isn't that I used to manage things? Sometimes we just forget how we are used to be like.
With that, I was also inspired by a student who exclaimed that running was totally endorphins-inducing and so I finally picked up my shoes and started running again- something which I have forgotten to do for a very long time. And it was devastating because then I realised how truly in denial I am in for my own fitness level and also how much I have grown into for the past 2 years. I can only say that the run to MacRitchie was purging - of all that cholestrol that is choking up my arteries so that I may get back my breathing rhythm back and figure how just how much of my muscles has dystrophied so that I can make realistic adjustment. Yup - no longer am I the 'flash' as I once was but a messy mass which seriously need to get back in shape. But I must say that run to macRitchie was beautiful with the evening sun reflecting off the water and the feel of nature - amid my endless gaspings of course. I do feel good afterall. I did a run in school in the morning today when I went to return some scripts -i felt better this time for I think I am accustomising to the routine pacing. I decided that I would get back in shape before my next birthday. maybe even clock a decent timing for sprints. mmm...perhaps for the 2nd thought =P.
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Finished marking today. My heart always raced when I marked my own classes (and I meant it) because I think it is not only an assessment for the students but for the teacher as well. from the scripts I think - did they understand what I meant in class, did they catch those pitfalls I always emphasizes. And it showed.
I am not sure if students realised but these days I never really go through the tutorials or at least it is never entirely about the tutorials and their answers - there isn't much of a point if I have marked the scripts and answers will be given yah? with experience and me being so rather anal about things, tutorial is the time I will spend on emphasizing the pitfalls that students tend to find themselves in, the types of questions a topic can come up with but we did not have the chances to delve into. I think it paid off - if the students have listened - because almost everyone in one class managed to secure certain marks but quite a number from another class which is more easily distracted had difficulty with, but then so did many others in the cohort. Still I felt sad for the latter because I know that they were working so hard for all their subjects during the last stretch and it is easy to see why they falter at the end...Funnily, it was my other class that confirmed the results because it was those who did not turn up for the last few lessons suffered from my red slashing while those who came dutifully put down the appropriate phrasing which is really standard.
I suddenly recalled a remark made by a student of mine: Sir, I have really studied but I just don't what to write during the exams... (to the effect). then I got to know that one of my kids gave up on the essay. These are the times when you feel very sad and vindictive: why why why?! then you melt because sometimes when we want something so badly we do blank out as an insurmountable sense of fear set in. I have been through it before and it takes huge amount of courage to find it in yourself to let go of the expectation you decided to place on yourself but just go and give it your best shot...fight, and fight it with some arrogance and belief.
----------------------------
Frens
2postcards from Greece arrived in my mailbox the other day. so coincidental but very heartwarming.
One was from my niece who has quitted her job and is now lounging around, taking a well-deserved break. she noted that this is, for a while already, a trip without me. mmm... she has forgotten that she went to germany and austria without me some time ago! But at least she sent me a postcard =P, writing to me from Mykonos which is an island I did not have the leisure of time to go when I was there in Greece on my first ever backpacking trip 5 years back. For me it was the most amazing trip because it alternates so often between bliss and despair.
But the most heartwarming postcard is from CP who was on his honeymoon. CP and I go a long way back from sec school and being frens for so long, you just know the temperament of the person. Like I know exactly how he would respond to situations and how he would not bother to get his hair professionally cut for his wedding and how he could not be bother with the details of the banquet which in the end I settled for him so that it ran without a glitch . But I guess he also knows me well enough to arrow me to be the coordinator.
I guess friendship is something you built upon over the years gradually, bit by bit with sincerity and love. 1 -2 years down the road when I got busy with work and he with love, the bond remains and when the news of his wedding came a month before the actual event, I was pleasantly surprised but readily agreed to help him out.
I remembered his current wife (the then-gf )got a little jealous of us while we were on a japan backpacking trip because,as we havent met up for quite a while before the trip, we took time to catch up on the train to kyoto...and mm...he neglected her for a while. =P
Anyway, I thought it was awesome to be remembered to warrant a postcard while he is on honeymoon. =)
Then it was the marking which I started real late like after everyone else has more or less finished (because of the notes)- but it was the plan. I wanted to do it while everyone is marking so that when they are done, I can take over readily and they can vet my notes for clarity and feel. But still, I got a little frustrated with my progress and thus stressed until I told myself - hey I should not aim to finish it in one shot but spread it out so that I can have time for other things like catching up with some impt frens, settled my j2 cca records, go for gathering. Isn't that I used to manage things? Sometimes we just forget how we are used to be like.
With that, I was also inspired by a student who exclaimed that running was totally endorphins-inducing and so I finally picked up my shoes and started running again- something which I have forgotten to do for a very long time. And it was devastating because then I realised how truly in denial I am in for my own fitness level and also how much I have grown into for the past 2 years. I can only say that the run to MacRitchie was purging - of all that cholestrol that is choking up my arteries so that I may get back my breathing rhythm back and figure how just how much of my muscles has dystrophied so that I can make realistic adjustment. Yup - no longer am I the 'flash' as I once was but a messy mass which seriously need to get back in shape. But I must say that run to macRitchie was beautiful with the evening sun reflecting off the water and the feel of nature - amid my endless gaspings of course. I do feel good afterall. I did a run in school in the morning today when I went to return some scripts -i felt better this time for I think I am accustomising to the routine pacing. I decided that I would get back in shape before my next birthday. maybe even clock a decent timing for sprints. mmm...perhaps for the 2nd thought =P.
---------------------
Finished marking today. My heart always raced when I marked my own classes (and I meant it) because I think it is not only an assessment for the students but for the teacher as well. from the scripts I think - did they understand what I meant in class, did they catch those pitfalls I always emphasizes. And it showed.
I am not sure if students realised but these days I never really go through the tutorials or at least it is never entirely about the tutorials and their answers - there isn't much of a point if I have marked the scripts and answers will be given yah? with experience and me being so rather anal about things, tutorial is the time I will spend on emphasizing the pitfalls that students tend to find themselves in, the types of questions a topic can come up with but we did not have the chances to delve into. I think it paid off - if the students have listened - because almost everyone in one class managed to secure certain marks but quite a number from another class which is more easily distracted had difficulty with, but then so did many others in the cohort. Still I felt sad for the latter because I know that they were working so hard for all their subjects during the last stretch and it is easy to see why they falter at the end...Funnily, it was my other class that confirmed the results because it was those who did not turn up for the last few lessons suffered from my red slashing while those who came dutifully put down the appropriate phrasing which is really standard.
I suddenly recalled a remark made by a student of mine: Sir, I have really studied but I just don't what to write during the exams... (to the effect). then I got to know that one of my kids gave up on the essay. These are the times when you feel very sad and vindictive: why why why?! then you melt because sometimes when we want something so badly we do blank out as an insurmountable sense of fear set in. I have been through it before and it takes huge amount of courage to find it in yourself to let go of the expectation you decided to place on yourself but just go and give it your best shot...fight, and fight it with some arrogance and belief.
----------------------------
Frens
2postcards from Greece arrived in my mailbox the other day. so coincidental but very heartwarming.
One was from my niece who has quitted her job and is now lounging around, taking a well-deserved break. she noted that this is, for a while already, a trip without me. mmm... she has forgotten that she went to germany and austria without me some time ago! But at least she sent me a postcard =P, writing to me from Mykonos which is an island I did not have the leisure of time to go when I was there in Greece on my first ever backpacking trip 5 years back. For me it was the most amazing trip because it alternates so often between bliss and despair.
But the most heartwarming postcard is from CP who was on his honeymoon. CP and I go a long way back from sec school and being frens for so long, you just know the temperament of the person. Like I know exactly how he would respond to situations and how he would not bother to get his hair professionally cut for his wedding and how he could not be bother with the details of the banquet which in the end I settled for him so that it ran without a glitch . But I guess he also knows me well enough to arrow me to be the coordinator.
I guess friendship is something you built upon over the years gradually, bit by bit with sincerity and love. 1 -2 years down the road when I got busy with work and he with love, the bond remains and when the news of his wedding came a month before the actual event, I was pleasantly surprised but readily agreed to help him out.
I remembered his current wife (the then-gf )got a little jealous of us while we were on a japan backpacking trip because,as we havent met up for quite a while before the trip, we took time to catch up on the train to kyoto...and mm...he neglected her for a while. =P
Anyway, I thought it was awesome to be remembered to warrant a postcard while he is on honeymoon. =)
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